Saturday, July 26, 2008

These are not hallucinations! (part 4)

These are not hallucinations! (part1)
These are not hallucinations! (part2)
These are not hallucinations! (part3)

I'm not sure if what we had back then was for real.
It was the first time for me to feel that…
That I'm dying.

The idea that you can read people's minds is amazing.
I happened to experience that once before.
It's hideous!
And your life will never be the same afterwards.

I stood there watching and I did nothing.
That's what I did every time.
A deadly combination of fear and love…
And that's how I developed hate!

It's a process you go through when you can't fit into a particular situation.
But what if you got used to doing it over and over again, then…
Then suddenly you decided to stop?

I almost forgot how a normal sleep would be.
So I developed a new definition…
It's a state close to death when you wake up in the middle chocking or feeling that your blood pressure is going to tear your chest open. And if you made it through, you'll suffer through a series of nightmares till you eventually…
Do not die!

Don't get me wrong, I just can't help it!!
It's the only thing that pops up into my mind when you talk...
The blood splash when I smash your skull.
… !
You look charming with that axe next to…
…your decapitated corpse.

I can't figure out till now why or how our friendship came to an end!
We both just stopped calling.
I regret it, you know?
You were...
You were my FRIEND.

You people have been talking for the last three hours, and just saying shitty nonsense,..
and you look happy you,…you…

Drawing on red paper is so annoying.
There's too much red that…
That there's not enough contrast for my blood!!

I'm not easily provoked my friend!
I'm a fuckin' maniac who'll peel your skin off your face if I ever heard you… talking, laughing or even chewing food…!!

Same old me!
Eye contact,
Thoughts and words are rushing through my brain like freakin' bats out of hell, but never make it to…
Still there…

I hate the horn of the ferry,
and I hate celebrations.
They remind me of…
the end!

I don't know how long it will last.
I don't know how long I'm going to bear it.
It seems like an endless vortex that keeps going on and on!
I'm drowning myself inside!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Here you are!

Suddenly everything became colorful and bright.
Now, I can see everything from a different perspective.
An overwhelming feeling and cellular celebration of my whole body.
A smile on my face that shines and grows to light everything around.
I feel like every part of me is dancing in an unstoppable rhythm.
It's happiness...
A fascinating painting of cheer and utter joy!



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