Thursday, December 27, 2007

These are not hallucinations! (part 3)

These are not hallucinations! (part1)
These are not hallucinations! (part2)

There’s something wrong about cold this winter. I feel it but I can’t…dunno…”FEEL” it ...!
It’s there I know, but it’s like that I just don’t care!

When you have a nightmare almost every night, you kinda get used to it.
Actually you wait for it and feed it with all the filth and crap before you close your eyes.
I was faithful to you, so why did you damned nightmare stop visiting me after 15 years ?!!
Why did you keep me wondering why you left like I was wondering why you came in the first place?

Being evil is easy.
Being Virtuous is hard.
Staying in the middle is torturing.
And I can’t still figure out where am I ?!

It wasn’t cruelty to act the way I did,…
It’s just that I was too weak to go on like this.
I slaughtered both of us so as not to suffer afterwards.
But we did not die…
We lived,..
and had all the sufferings.

My lovely Bird,
When you died 24 years ago I was so angry and devastated to see you lying in your grave (aka the trash can) and I couldn’t think about anything but how am I going to live without you?
Now, I’m wondering,…
Did u suffer when you died from thirst?
Was it pulses of pain that went through you nervous system shaking your body when you were squeaking in the sunny balcony, seeing your pot of water spelt under your feet?!

We danced like we’ve never danced before.
We kept going round and round in circles on the dance floor.
The colors gradually mixed in a glowing rainbow.
People developed to ghosts and shadows.
I felt that everything was moving with the speed of light and we were just dancing in slow motion.
Did I hear you saying: “I love you” ?!

I’m being consumed..
Decaying slowly like a gentle breeze,…fast as an enormous wave,…and I’m just staring helpless!

I know that lonely child standing there.
I love him,…
I pity him,..
I just want to go there and give him a big hug, and whisper in his ears how much…
How much I hate him!

Sunday, December 02, 2007



Another year,

Another Winter..!

Nothing has changed on the outside…

I’m restless and irritated,...maybe ‘cause I hate getting old!

I had a lot in mind to write down, but as soon as I started, every single thought inside my head simply vanished!


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