NUMB

Thursday, December 27, 2007

These are not hallucinations! (part 3)

These are not hallucinations! (part1)
These are not hallucinations! (part2)

There’s something wrong about cold this winter. I feel it but I can’t…dunno…”FEEL” it ...!
It’s there I know, but it’s like that I just don’t care!


When you have a nightmare almost every night, you kinda get used to it.
Actually you wait for it and feed it with all the filth and crap before you close your eyes.
I was faithful to you, so why did you damned nightmare stop visiting me after 15 years ?!!
Why did you keep me wondering why you left like I was wondering why you came in the first place?


Being evil is easy.
Being Virtuous is hard.
Staying in the middle is torturing.
And I can’t still figure out where am I ?!


It wasn’t cruelty to act the way I did,…
It’s just that I was too weak to go on like this.
I slaughtered both of us so as not to suffer afterwards.
But we did not die…
We lived,..
and had all the sufferings.


My lovely Bird,
When you died 24 years ago I was so angry and devastated to see you lying in your grave (aka the trash can) and I couldn’t think about anything but how am I going to live without you?
Now, I’m wondering,…
Did u suffer when you died from thirst?
Was it pulses of pain that went through you nervous system shaking your body when you were squeaking in the sunny balcony, seeing your pot of water spelt under your feet?!


We danced like we’ve never danced before.
We kept going round and round in circles on the dance floor.
The colors gradually mixed in a glowing rainbow.
People developed to ghosts and shadows.
I felt that everything was moving with the speed of light and we were just dancing in slow motion.
Did I hear you saying: “I love you” ?!


I’m being consumed..
Decaying slowly like a gentle breeze,…fast as an enormous wave,…and I’m just staring helpless!


I know that lonely child standing there.
I love him,…
I pity him,..
I just want to go there and give him a big hug, and whisper in his ears how much…
How much I hate him!

30 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and here we go again
as usual the dark side's story.. but still i like it :)
the bird's one was really cruel. it saddened me picturing him dyeing in the sunny balcony ..u really made it seem cruel.


but still a good one

by the way..
happy new year
:)))

December 27, 2007 at 2:41 AM  
Blogger insomniac said...

"Being evil is easy.
Being Virtuous is hard.
Staying in the middle is torturing.
And I can’t still figure out where am I ?"

wanting to be evil is easy; however, actually being evil isn't really... and yeah, the middle is just torturing! i guess it's what makes being evil hard... am i making sense????

i like ur not hallucinations posts :)

December 27, 2007 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Maat said...

I had to read this twice... the shifting from one thought to the next so quickly left me breathless and... impressed! It's hard to just hold on to one part and say "hey, that's my favorite".. they're all.. ahh..

well.. of course i loved the part with the bird... the way you described how it died... and of course the last part with the child... the whole thing!

yeah... write a whole collection of these "not hallucinations".. i think you have enough material to do like 10 more parts or so :)

December 27, 2007 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

shayma..
yeah, here we go again,..
and again..!
Happy new year to u too:)

insomniac..
thx:)
mmm..
yeah, it's what makes it hard for the ethical type of people, but for normal ones, I guess there's a possibility to flip to the dark side without spending much time in the middle!

maat..
thanks :)
they're only 3 parts,...I guess when I have 10 parts, I'll end up hallucinating for sure!

December 28, 2007 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger Ma 3lina said...

Decaying slowly like a gentle breeze,…fast as an enormous wave,…and I’m just staring helpless!

Oh that's the most depressing part 4 me the word decaying really touched my soul i felt it very much

expressive words r powerful

although I get confused when shifting from one topic to another but the topic is amazing

waiting for more hallucinations of urs nd happy new year

December 29, 2007 at 2:20 AM  
Blogger Polka Dotted said...

I dunno y I love ur extremely darkened thoughts... that mix between alot of feelings and a lot of events past and recent

"Staying in the middle is torturing.
And I can’t still figure out where am I ?! " *sighs*

sorry for ur bird...

December 30, 2007 at 5:13 PM  
Blogger Elsede3' said...

omg, loadsa posts...
guess i was away for far too long..
anyway, um gonna comment on some posts here cuz um not sure if u check all the posts...
and y am i commenting???
not becuz i should, but cuz maybe i've always wanted to tell u these things...but, as always, i cdnt...
i know u, and u know me...maybe we know too much, but there's always that line that some1 has drawn that keeps us from talking...
nywayz, think um gonna start with the comments

1st post "I hate you!" -that's the name of the post, um not actually saying that-
u fear him?? he defeated you??
do u actually think that this is true??
omg, u're way stronger than u thik u r boy. u're giving urself way less crdt than u deserve. and u cant be afraid from something u've already defeated...watever u think, um sure that this is the truth.

got a complaint in the system:
do i have to sing the song? u already know how it goes. it's a bit confusing welcome to the maze, cuz everybody sees wat everybody wants to..that's the way it's always been. screw them all, u can work ur ass off then have a break daydreaming about slashing every faggot that bugs u.

30:
have i ever told u that i still act like u're 24???

and last but not least, hallucinations:
u cant still figure out where u r?? r u effing kidding me?? i've always thought u were way smarter than that..and no, i wont tell u where u r, u hafta figure that out urself.
and about the birdy, well, at least he had his own peace of mind. better than the other two that were suffocating in the car's trunk.

and dont do that to the lonely child, i love the lonely child -away from beating my ass off in chess for like 27 times in a row, and trying to strangle me to death ;)-

sorry bout the long comment

December 30, 2007 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

ma-3lina..
Happy new year :)
Have u ever felt like really decaying?!

batabeet..
3ashan ka2eebah we7na benmoot fel3aknanah :)
yeah,..I'm sorry too.

elsede'3..
oook..
I know that damned line. Why don't we erase it!
Who said I defeated him?
I just made it look that way cuz I was tired of "people giving advice" and tired of trying. I'm acting, and I guess I played the role of my life!

That's what I do, but daydreaming is not enough no more. I began to slip!

24! me or u?

hehe, he was lonely and cruel :)

December 30, 2007 at 9:50 PM  
Blogger Elsede3' said...

i think we can erase it, as long as u dnt mind -this is starting to souund really weird-
and havent u ever thought that playing the role was actually u defeating him??
i mean, u cdnt play the role before, at least u had control on one thing..right??
and about daydreaming, plz dnt show up with a headless corpse, i wont like it..i may enjoy doing it, but i wont like the scene :D
and no, u're 24..um still 23, u know :P

and that kid, well, maybe he was lonely..but sure he was cute not cruel -i told um starting to feel weird-

December 31, 2007 at 12:43 AM  
Blogger šσяšαяαα said...

i just come to say
happy new year
and i will be back to read

but first i have some gifts to u

hope to come to my blog.. magical world to take them

salaaaam

December 31, 2007 at 1:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:(( I commented here yesterday

and it seems it just evaporated

or..I'm hallucinating :D

well..

I'm just left speechless
!! dunno..it's just sweet and sad..sweet sorrow in fact..and really calm...! calmly killing in fact...!

just dunno..

anyways..Happy 2008 for you and your family and friends for you.. May this year be coloured with hope and blessed with peace of mind insha Allah :)

January 1, 2008 at 2:41 AM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

sorsaraa..
Happy New Year to u too :)

epitaph..
yeah, it is... :/
Happy new year. I hope it'll be a happy one for u :)

January 2, 2008 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Memo said...

lol
you got a Serious problem hurricane_x and I told you before you need to love yourself ya ebny 3shan khater rabna have an optimistic look for life kda try to write once about hope and good things in life plzzzzzzzz
regards

January 2, 2008 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

memo..
I can't :)

January 4, 2008 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Eman Eltaher said...

هو مفيش عربى يا عالم !!!! هههههههه
هو انا مكتوب عليا أفك الشفرات
لا و ماله انا برضه قدها و قدود

ما انا متخرجة من كلية حلوة و تخصص كمبيوتر ( بالانجليزى )و افهمها و هيا
طايرة
ههههههههه

:))))))))


لقيت كله كاتب انجليزى
قلت أفك العتمة بشوية عربى
:)))))

AM I WRONG ???

January 5, 2008 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

eman eltaher..
No, u r not wrong :)

January 5, 2008 at 6:49 PM  
Blogger ^ H@fSS@^ said...

how much you hate him??
i just want to know who is that child and i will punish him forever only for ur sake
did he took ur sandwich when u were in kg or something??
its ok, u can admit that.

January 7, 2008 at 7:36 AM  
Blogger silent observer said...

actually being evil is as hard as being virtuous....
I think most people are in the middle , that's part of being human.
The purely evil and purely virtuous, even though I believe that even those have a little bit of that other side in them, are rare... and that's why they are so famous.

January 8, 2008 at 2:55 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

hafsaa..
Actually, It's a burden having to finish my sandwiches!

samurai girl..
don't u swing?!

January 10, 2008 at 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so , now after u reached 30, did u retire blogging???

February 5, 2008 at 11:28 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

No,...
just too many problems to handle!
thx for asking!

February 8, 2008 at 8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

been a long time!!
where are u??

hope every thing is fine
salam
:))

March 5, 2008 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger insomniac said...

u ok?

March 17, 2008 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger Ma 3lina said...

heyy
it has been a long time about 2 months maslan ??!!

hope the problems are solved isa

eb2a tamena 3leek

March 17, 2008 at 2:54 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

shayma..
I'm still on earth :)

insomniac..
no, not ok at all!

ma-3lina..
yeah, it's been a long time. I can't get back, dunno why!

March 19, 2008 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger insomniac said...

i hope things work out for u... God bless.

March 21, 2008 at 11:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shall I get worried??

hope you're just fine..

tamena 3alik ya fandem...

April 6, 2008 at 2:11 AM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

insomniac..
I hope so too, thx :)

epitaph..
don't, I'm still alive :)

April 10, 2008 at 2:14 PM  
Blogger Gia said...

''Being evil is easy.
Being Virtuous is hard.
Staying in the middle is torturing.
And I can't still figure out where am I ?''

'' I’m being consumed..
Decaying slowly like a gentle breeze,…fast as an enormous wave,…and I’m just staring helpless! ''


I relate to you. Keep holding on.

It's my first visit. I like your blog, specially the name: Numb.

July 27, 2008 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

gia..
thx, and nice to meet u here :)

August 3, 2008 at 7:39 AM  

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