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Saturday, July 26, 2008

These are not hallucinations! (part 4)

These are not hallucinations! (part1)
These are not hallucinations! (part2)
These are not hallucinations! (part3)


I'm not sure if what we had back then was for real.
It was the first time for me to feel that…
That I'm dying.

The idea that you can read people's minds is amazing.
I happened to experience that once before.
It's hideous!
And your life will never be the same afterwards.

I stood there watching and I did nothing.
That's what I did every time.
A deadly combination of fear and love…
And that's how I developed hate!

Adapting…
It's a process you go through when you can't fit into a particular situation.
But what if you got used to doing it over and over again, then…
Then suddenly you decided to stop?

I almost forgot how a normal sleep would be.
So I developed a new definition…
It's a state close to death when you wake up in the middle chocking or feeling that your blood pressure is going to tear your chest open. And if you made it through, you'll suffer through a series of nightmares till you eventually…
Do not die!

Don't get me wrong, I just can't help it!!
It's the only thing that pops up into my mind when you talk...
The blood splash when I smash your skull.
… !
You look charming with that axe next to…
…your decapitated corpse.

I can't figure out till now why or how our friendship came to an end!
We both just stopped calling.
I regret it, you know?
You were...
You were my FRIEND.

You people have been talking for the last three hours, and just saying shitty nonsense,..
and you look happy you,…you…
YOU MOTHER FUCKING FREAKS!

Drawing on red paper is so annoying.
There's too much red that…
That there's not enough contrast for my blood!!

I'm not easily provoked my friend!
I'm a fuckin' maniac who'll peel your skin off your face if I ever heard you… talking, laughing or even chewing food…!!

Same old me!
Eye contact,
Thoughts and words are rushing through my brain like freakin' bats out of hell, but never make it to…
Still there…
Tongue?!

I hate the horn of the ferry,
and I hate celebrations.
They remind me of…
the end!

I don't know how long it will last.
I don't know how long I'm going to bear it.
It seems like an endless vortex that keeps going on and on!
I'm drowning myself inside!

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

:) Finally! I was waiting for another hallucinations episode (umm.. just as long as you dont end up hallucinating for real :D )

"Adapting…
It's a process you go through when you can't fit into a particular situation.
But what if you got used to doing it over and over again, then…
Then suddenly you decided to stop?" --- why do i relate so much to this part?!!


"Eye contact,
Thoughts and words are rushing through my brain like freakin' bats out of hell, but never make it to…
Still there…
Tongue?!" ---- here too!


As always, well written, amazingly put, and a little scary and out there... the "series" is building up beautifully, do write more of these "not" hallucinations! how you holding up though?

July 26, 2008 at 10:21 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That post makes perfect sense.

July 26, 2008 at 10:47 PM  
Blogger insomniac said...

i love those series :D

- i wish i could read people's minds... i can understand how it's a life-changing thing, but there's also life-changing consequences when you take people for what they are not!

i don't think the love people yearn for can exist or survive with fear, this is what brings hate i guess... i think u can fear for who u love, but you should not fear them... it could be irrelevant to what you wrote, but it made me think that way :)

don't keep me waiting that long... want more!!

July 27, 2008 at 12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost forgot how a normal sleep would be.

yeaah me tooo

Don't get me wrong, I just can't help it!!
It's the only thing that pops up into my mind when you talk...
The blood splash when I smash your skull.
… !


do u know how many ppl i would like to apply this on them :)

millions

As always gr88 combination of anger nd blood .. waiting for more hallucinations

Ma 3lina

July 28, 2008 at 9:14 PM  
Blogger hurricane_x said...

evaluna..
thx :)
mmm...
I feel better when I write them. I feel that I reveal too much here, and that's..
relieving!

leaflet..
gr8 :)
I though it won't.

insomniac..
I may have a different opinion here.
Fear can exist with love in some cases, but u know...
It'll eventually kill it!
I guess u were right!
But still that's not what I was talking about here:)

ma-3lina..
Apply it dear!
go for it,.. they deserve it :)

July 29, 2008 at 7:13 AM  
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